Jun 04 2010

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Tips

How to Master the Art of Public Speaking – Tips For Boosting Your Confidence

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Tips By Roland Poitevin.

Even the most introverted people have now understood that it is extremely important to be able to convey their thoughts in a more confident manner. This has become increasingly important owing to the impetus laid on public speaking. People in almost every occupation have to deal with clients and stakeholders. This necessitates them to brush up their skills at public speaking. Moreover, it is widely believed that mastering the art of public speaking can benefit people in more than several ways. If you are a business manager and have clients to deal with you would know how important it is for you to communicate your thoughts in a confident manner. Likewise, if you are a teacher you would face extreme difficulty in teaching the kids unless you know how to address a class of 15-20 students.

To overcome this kind of problem, a lot of emphasis is being laid on mastering the art of public speaking. Some of the easiest ways to learn this art are as follows:

· Communicate clearly among friends and family members:

Unless you know how to present your thoughts precisely before your friends and family members you would not find it easier to address a gathering. Therefore, it would be good for you to start interacting with people more socially and actively. This will help you to present your views more confidently.

· Practice before a mirror:

This is considered as one of the earliest means by which people have overcome their fears while addressing a large gathering or conference. You can do this at night as per your convenience and master at the skill within a short span of time.

· Think and form an opinion on things that matter:

There are a lot of things that will catch your attention quite easily. If you are a sports fanatic you will form opinions about a particular match or player. Similarly, if you love cooking you would find articles related to various cuisines interesting. Reading prepares the mind to think and thinking helps to communicate verbally.

Comments Off

Jun 03 2010

Guaranteed Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Cure

The Guaranteed Cure for Severe Public Speaking Anxiety

How To Make A Fearless Speech By Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Article Author By: Al Gammate.

Public speaking is the most prevalent fear, I heard. And I believe it, because my acquaintances have this fear. However, people do not have the fear to the extent that I had. There were times where I, completely freezing at a scheduled speech, could not perform at all. But usually before this happens, I attempt to cancel the scheduled speech or not show up.

My public speaking fear began in the ninth grade of middle school. I vividly remember the turning point. I spent days preparing for a history class speech. As I sat in the history class, ready to give my speech, a friend seated next to me began teasing me. He laughed, “You look nervous.” “Are you sweating?” “You will hyperventilate while giving your speech.” “Don’t stutter and shake while standing in front of the class.” The teasing continued for some time, since others were scheduled to speak before me.

Then the teacher called my name; I walked to the front of the class. I looked at the audience, spotting my friend who was teasing me. He eyed me, smiling. Fear coldly filled me. My hands frozen, I began to breathe rapidly, concentrating difficultly. Speaking quickly, I stuttered, stumbled, and sometimes paralyzed. Time slowed; I torturously concluded my speech. The sympathetic audience did not ask me any questions during my speech conclusion. I returned to my seat in the back of the class-defeated.

Before this incident, I easily gave speeches, giving them well. But after this incident, my public speaking fear was born. I am sure that my friend who teased me never intended for this to happen. He probably thought his teasing was good-natured.

Throughout high school, I difficultly and poorly gave speeches. After every failed speech, my confidence waned. When I entered college, speeches petrified me. So whenever I enrolled in a course requiring me to give a speech, I quickly dropped the course and added a course without this requirement. By the time I graduated from college, dropped and added courses riddled my transcript.

Afterwards, I entered graduate school. I was in trouble; almost every course required me to give speeches. This panicked me. I performed poorly on the scheduled speeches that I attended. I did not attend many of them. Whenever I gave a speech, the audience gazed downwardly, attempting to ease the situation. After some time in graduate school, the mere thought of giving a speech terrorized me. My grades suffered. However, I eventually graduated.

Following graduate school, I entered the workforce. My job required me to regularly give speeches to large audiences. Unaware of this requirement, I accepted the job offer. Public speaking situations followed me wherever I went. I had to find the solution-fast. So during my spare time, I read articles and books on public speaking fear. Reading, I found the following:

1. Strong feelings of specific situations are produced by mentally connecting the feelings and situations together. For example, you, strongly fearing driving, fearfully experienced car accidents or fearfully heard about someone who experienced them. So whenever you drive a car, you fear. If you fear enough, you avoid driving. The same is true for fear and public speaking.

2. Some people are born with sensitive sympathetic nervous systems. The sympathetic nervous system protects you from danger. For example, you, being chased by a wolf pack, run more energetically; because your sympathetic nervous system released large adrenaline amounts into your blood stream. This adrenaline also causes you to breathe rapidly, sweat, quiver, and shake. However, some people’s sympathetic nervous systems are easily triggered, triggered by even safe events. These people overreact to events.

3. Some people are born with brains wired for worry, fear, depression, frustration, or agitation. Brains wired this way have low levels of a calming chemical naturally produced in the brain. This chemical is called Serotonin. Serotonin calms the brain, producing feelings of relaxation and well-being. Also people born with normal brains, thinking negatively, lower their Serotonin levels. Therefore negative thinking, genetics, or both contribute to low Serotonin levels.

4. People diffident in giving speeches, being unprepared, fail at giving speeches. The better prepared you are, the more confident you are.

5. A person regularly facing a specific fear loses the specific fear.

Comments Off

Jun 03 2010

4 Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Myths

4 Myths About Public Speaking

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Myths About Public Speaking By James R. Malinchak.

In any area of interest, there are always pervasive beliefs which are often founded on false principles and uncertain assumptions. Public speaking is no exception and it has a lot of myths that many see as true. These myths are often discouraging and may hinder ones improvement. It can be unhealthy for a particular speaking career if not proven otherwise.

Here are four common, and untrue myths about public speaking.

Myth #1: You have to be educated to become a public speaker.

Although education is a great asset, it is not a requirement to start a speaking career. Although a high educational attainment may appeal to some buyers it all depends on the niche. If your market is highly academic and scholarly, then a good educational background can pull interest from buyers.

On the other hand, most of the market does not demand a substantially educated speaker. A lot of public speakers do not have college degrees but still earning hefty amounts of money from bookings. In some niches, blue collar speakers with little or no education may possess more mass appeal because the audiences can relate to them. It all depends on the topics and the chosen niche.

Sometimes, to motivate people, a speaker must show that they are human and a lack of higher education may do just that. A speaker can show the audience that even though they are not college educated they have achieved professional and financial success. It is an inspiring premise.

Myth #2: You have to possess the gift of speaking in order to stand up in front of people to speak.

Public speaking is a skill and just like any skill, it can be developed and practiced. There are formulas that anyone can use to create great speeches. All you need is a message and the willingness to deliver that message to your audience. After a few tweaks, revisions, and rehearsals; you can present a knockout speech even without the possessing the “gift of speech”.

Technique and practice are the key factors in improving public speaking skills. If someone dedicates himself or herself enough, anybody can be great.

Myth #3: You have to be different or change who you are to speak.

Many people will often say that a career in public speaking will make you fake, somewhat pretentious and change your personality. People might see it as analogous to movie stars or politicians; maintaining a public or stage persona to benefit the career.

If this is the case, public speaking seems like very hard work but in reality, one does not have to change in order to become a speaker. Great speakers are individuals who stay true to their characters, including their weaknesses and idiosyncrasies. It makes them human and a lot of people can more relate to.

Myth #4: You have to work hard to be a public speaker.

This can be rather subjective. Yes, it can be hard work if your heart is not into it. Any endeavor without passion is not an easy task. However, if you are really committed to the career and loving it, it won’t matter, will it?

Comments Off

Jun 03 2010

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Great Speech

A Quick Tip for Delivering a Great Speech

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Tip for Delivering a Great Speech By V. Berba Velasco.

Does speaking in public leave you tongue-tied? Do you stumble over your words? Do you want to learn how to speak more eloquently in front of a crowed?

Here’s a simple tip for getting started: Talk about something that you’re passionate about.

Have you ever noticed how people sound more eloquent when they’re talking about something that’s dear to their heart? They speak more fluidly, and they’re less likely to grasp for the right words. They also speak with more confidence, emotion and conviction. And why not? They’ve probably delivered great orations to themselves many times before, in the privacy of their own minds.

Speak about what matters to you. Speak about what’s dear to your heart.

Of course, this isn’t a magic formula for becoming a great speaker. That sort of thing must come with experience. However, if you start out by speaking about things for which you feel passion, that can help you refine your technique and develop confidence.

As with most skills, the secret is to practice, practice and practice. If you speak from the heart, then practicing becomes easier and more effective—and a lot more enjoyable to boot.

Comments Off

Jun 03 2010

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Without Dying

How to Give a Speech Without Dying

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Speech Without Dying By Cathy Stucker.

Two of the top fears of most people are dying and giving a speech. In fact, there is so much fear of public speaking, you might think that people regularly die while giving speeches. Fortunately, that is not the case. Here are some tips that will help you overcome your fears and give a great speech.

Be prepared. Know what you are going to say. Prepare an outline of your main points and put them on index cards or a sheet of paper. Don’t write out your whole speech and read it. There is nothing that will put an audience to sleep faster.

Write your own introduction. Don’t rely on the person who will introduce you to come up with a good introduction. Write it yourself. Your introduction should include your credentials and other important points from your bio. Also include a call to action for the audience, such as the fact that you will be selling and autographing your book after the presentation, or a reason for them to visit your web site. Print out the introduction, double-spaced in large type, so it is easy to read. Send it before the event to the person who will introduce you, and take two copies with you on the day of the speech. Your introduction will get your speech off to a good start.

Dress comfortably. If your clothes are too tight, too short or riding up your . . . uh, you don’t want to dress in a way that will interfere with movement or breathing.

Check out the room. Arrive a little early so you can become familiar with the layout of the room. Where will you stand while you speak? Is there a microphone? How will the audience be seated? If you are using equipment, such as a projector, try it out to make sure everything is working properly.

Get to know the audience. As audience members arrive, introduce yourself and chat with them. It will reduce your nervousness later. After all, you won’t be speaking to a bunch of nameless strangers, you will be speaking to Jeff, Laura, Steve, Diane, and all the other nice people you shook hands with earlier.

Breathe. When you first step up to the podium, take a deep breath then start speaking. If you find yourself speaking too quickly, or inserting fillers such as uh, um, like, you know, slow down and take another breath before you continue.

Remember that the audience is on your side. They came to hear what you have to say. They are spending their time (and perhaps money) to be there, and they are predisposed to like you. Don’t assume they are waiting for you to fail. They aren’t.

Comments Off

Jun 03 2010

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Guidelines

Guidelines For Effective Public Speaking

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Guidelines For Effective Public Speaking By: Lee Dobbins.

Public speaking is something we cannot avoid in our life. The situation will arise when we are called upon to stand up and speak our minds out. When that situation comes are we ready deliver?

Public speaking is one of the most feared activities in a person’s lifetime. Anxiety and stress will usually attack once you get off your seat and start to speak. Sadly, this fear is the cause of lost promotions, low self esteem, miscommunications and similar situations. But why do some people excel on it? They make it look so easy – I guess through practice one can improve his public speaking skills but in the mean time here are 6 guidelines and questions that you will make your life easier when speaking in public.

Who?

Who are you talking to? Know your audience, their background, values and common interests that may help you in your presentation. If you are speaking to a group of accountants then it will help if you focus your speech on data and statistics, or if you are speaking to a group of teenagers, you should know the latest fashion or in-thing so you can establish rapport and make your speech lighter and simpler.

Knowing your listeners is imperative to a successful speech. It will also help you relax if you know the people who are going to listen to your presentation.

Where?

Knowing the venue and being there early is half the battle. Try to get a feel of the place. Stand on the stage or where ever you are suppose to deliver your speech. Try to visualize your audience listening to your speech.

Check the sound system and the availability of audio-visual aids if you need to use some. Being at the venue early will give you some time to prepare and compose yourself. You can also afford time for a last minute tweaking of your speech.

What?

What do you want to say? What is the speech for? If you are speaking to educate and inform your audience, make sure that you have accurate and updated facts in your presentation. It is not enough that you have prepared and have memorized your speech; you should also know what you are talking about and have made a thorough research about it.

How?

How can you deliver your message across? A sound language skill is not enough to ensure success as a public speaker. Choose your words carefully and be sure to enunciate them. Poor articulation and pronunciation weighs much in evaluating your presentation.

Visual aids are helpful to get your message across. You may use handouts or technical presentations to support your points. But the best visual aids are your facial expressions, hand gestures and body language. When practicing your speech, try to do it in front of a mirror to see how you look

Make sure that you have a solid opening, a good transition and a memorable conclusion.

When?

When is the best time to speak and stop? In communication, words are not the sole means of conveying a message. Your pause and stops also play an important role in delivering your point across.

Know when to start speaking and when to stop. Be aware of how long your speech is and tailor it to suit your audience. If you are speaking to a groups of seventh graders, then chances are their attentions span is shorter than that of a twenty something university student.

Why?

Why should they listen to you? Why were you chosen to speak in public? Determine the reasons why you were picked to deliver a speech. It may be because of your educational background, your work experience or your status in the community. What ever it is, they want something from you. Identify the reason and prepare your speech to answer the audience expectations.

Comments Off

Jun 03 2010

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Secrets

Secrets on How to Improve Your Public Speaking Skills

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Secrets To Improve Speaking Skills By: Zach Keyer.

It is True… for some, it is spiders; for many, ghosts; and others would say heights, but there are those who actually admit that public speaking is their greatest fear.

It is actually commonplace. Come to think of it, there can sometimes be nothing more frightening than having to stand up and speak in front of a group of people who could very likely shout at you, laugh at you, or leave while you are in the middle of talking. Even actress Debra Messing of the hit show Will and Grace surprisingly had this fear all her life. And she is a professional actress! Imagine how much worse this could be for those who have not even had the chance to go up on a stage at all in their lives.

Thankfully, public speaking is a fear that can easily be overcome. If you are not exactly paralyzed by fear, but you think you still have room for improvement on it, then you are realizing the fundamental truth that is facing us all. You can improve your public speaking skills quite easily by following the beginning tips mentioned below.

Remember to be prepared and get your practice. The value of preparation can never be overemphasized. It adds confidence and substance to your speeches and presentations. Research the topic you will talk about and try to find the best way to present it (angle-wise). Outline your major points and use cue cards if necessary/available. Practice your speech-delivery to make sure that your talk will not exceed the time allotted for you, and so that you could also asses your delivery from your own perspective. If you are to be the lead-speaker in a very important engagement, try to practice your speech in front of someone who could properly assess how you have done… and is able to provide honest feedback to you.

Also, Know your audience… technically, this is still part of being prepared. However, it is just so important that it calls for a separate mention. Knowing your audience provides you with valuable insight on the angle and perspective of presentation that would appeal best to them. It guides whether you can be casual and funny or whether you would be better served to be serious and analytical. It also gives you great input in streamlining your speech by suggesting what you need to include and what you can do without.

Also critical is to dress the part. As much as we refuse to admit it, image can sometimes be everything. How the audience responds to you can highly depend upon how they perceptually perceive you. Generally, you would appear as a more convincing speaker if you are dressed as business casual or business formal. Also, since the audience will have to look at you anyway, you might as well make your appearance a pleasant one for them.

Keeping the KISS in mind. Keep It Short and Simple. Even geniuses have limited attention spans… no special talent for the A.D.D. afflicted needed at all. Do not bore your audience to death with a speech that is too long. The faster you can get your message across, the better. A short and simple message also appears smarter while preventing you from being perceived as someone who came unprepared and is fumbling through their presentation. It also allows your listeners to retain what you have said easily. Including the opportunity for you to perform valauble rephrasing of your concepts – for added comprehension by your audience.

In addition to these quick tips, your public speaking skills will also be improved if you practice establishing periodic or constant eye contact with your audience. Also, if the occasion and your resources will permit, you can use visual aids such as slide presentations, handouts, product samples, etc to stimulate your audiences attention. To finish off your presentation, you should plan to answer the audiences question confidently and with a caring and informative attitude.

Comments Off

Jun 03 2010

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Public Speaking

Public Speaking: The Mother Of All Fears

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Public Speaking By: Guy Baglow.

In a much quoted survey of the things people fear most, public speaking came out as the number one fear. Death came third.

So what is fear of public speaking and why does it generate so much fear in so many?

What is fear of public speaking?

Fear of public speaking is an intense and irrational fear of being judged by others when speaking in front of them – or of being embarrassed or humiliated in such situations – causing dread, panic and avoidance.

More accurately, it is not the scrutiny and negative judgements themselves but the sufferer’s own emotional response to them – the feelings of shame, rejection or humiliation.

Sufferers recognise that their fear is excessive or unreasonable but they feel powerless to do anything to change their responses. So the feared situations – such as presentations, wedding speeches, meetings or even one-to-ones – are avoided or else endured with intense anxiety or distress.

In work situations the fear most commonly occurs around formal presentations and meetings. It can then spread out to smaller groups, to conference calls, to informal situations like one-on-one conversations (especially with more senior people) and to things like introducing oneself on a course. It can then even spill into social situations with friends and family.

How it manifests

When sufferers feel that all eyes are upon them – “the spotlight effect” – their acute self-awareness makes it very difficult to focus on what is going on around them, to remember their speech, to read from notes or follow a meeting. Their mind goes foggy or blank. Their distress is further fueled by their efforts to hide or mask their discomfort which may become apparent through blushing, sweating, shaking, twitching, or an inability to speak normally or coherently.

Some of these feelings may be present for some time before the event – weeks and even months beforehand – and may be accompanied by sleeping problems and loss of appetite. Life becomes a nightmare from the moment they know they have to speak. It can feel like a death sentence. Not only that, but the feelings may linger afterwards as the sufferer analyses and ruminates on how they did and how other people may have judged them.

Fear of public speaking is distinguished from shyness by the intense, often debilitating, fear it generates. At its worst it will end in a panic attack. So it’s way beyond shyness or butterflies. This is hardcore fear.

Who does it affect?

Most people with a fear of public speaking are normal, intelligent, happy and well-balanced. They often come across to friends and colleagues as confident and outgoing.

Many people who fear public speaking are very successful, so they have risen to a level in their career where they are more and more called upon to share their knowledge and expertise and lead projects, teams and departments. But in these situations they come across as reserved, disinterested or unenthusiastic because they have got this phobia, this thing.

So it’s very frustrating because a part of them (the rational thinking part) knows that it doesn’t make sense. They know their subject – that’s why they have been asked to talk – and they know the situation is non-threatening. But they nevertheless find that when they are asked to talk in front of a group, another part of them (the irrational unconscious part) drives out rational thought and fear floods in.

It appears to be the more imaginative, creative or artistic people who are more prone to developing phobias. This is because phobias have a lot to do with the misuse of the imagination. So it can affect absolutely anyone.

The cause

Fear of public speaking can be caused by many things. It can be an extension of childhood shyness reinforced by bad experiences of reading aloud in class or presenting work at college or university.

It can also start later in life, often at a time when background stress levels have been raised by other things like relationships or work. Then something happens that the individual can usually cope with but because of the background stress they tip into a mild panic attack. This is frightening and embarrassing. It destroys self-confidence. And it builds into a phobia as the sufferer starts to fear it happening again and begins to panic about panicking – to fear the fear.

At the start it may take some time for people to recognise that they have a phobia. They may mistakenly put it down to excessive shyness. But then the panic starts to occur more frequently and consistently and a pattern emerges. The response is reinforced each time they speak in public and panic, and each time they avoid it and feel relief.

Why does it affect so many so much?

With some phobias – like snakes, heights and sharks – there is some element of real danger. But with public speaking there is no apparent threat. There are no enemy warriors in the room, no charging rhinos.

It seems likely that the fear of public speaking – a fear of humiliation and rejection – is a hangover from our evolutionary history when being accepted by the tribe was essential to our survival. If we did not have their approval we might be cast out. Then our chances of survival by ourselves would be slim. So the thought of rejection by the group generates high anxiety. It’s a primitive survival response that got stuck to wrong kind of thing.

Safety behaviours & avoidance

Safety and avoidance strategies are used by the sufferer to reduce the danger and to control, accommodate and conceal their panic and embarrassment.

Energy and time are used in planning and avoiding the presentation, meeting, call, seminar or speech. Elaborate ways are created to reduce or hide their distress or to produce distractions from it. Sufferers may self-medicate with alcohol. Sickness may be feigned. People and situations may be manipulated. Careers may be blighted: jobs and promotions may be turned down (because they may entail more presenting) or jobs may be left because of their fears of “discovery”.

Many people accommodate their phobia like this for a long time – typically for years, even decades. It is often surprising just how far people get in life and have still managed to avoid public speaking.

But over time these “solutions” become part of the problem, using up time, energy and attention needed for other things. Eventually the avoidance and manipulation becomes too risky – threatening jobs or relationships – or a presentation or speech (usually a wedding or leaving speech) just can’t be avoided. When this happens most sufferers think “enough is enough”. And do something about it. And get help.

Getting help

Things have moved on from old style exposure therapy and there are now a number of very effective solutions available.

These include The Fast Phobia Cure – a remarkable technique from Neuro Linguistic Programming which rapidly changes the patterns that drive the fear. Another relatively new technique is the Emotional Freedom Technique which also provides rapid change. Of the more traditional treatments, Cognitive Therapy – designed to change the way you think about public speaking – is also effective although it is likely to take longer.

Comments Off

Jun 03 2010

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Fear

How To Get Rid of Your Fear of Public Speaking

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Get Rid of Your Fear of Public Speaking By: Morty Lefkoe.

If you’ve had an intense fear of public speaking for many years and have tried a variety of ways to rid yourself of the fear – without success, you’ve probably concluded that you’ll probably never get rid of the fear. Or, if you do, it will take a lot of time, effort, and reinforcement.

If you’ve used most conventional methods to get rid of your fear, you’re probably right. The Lefkoe Method (TLM) is not one of the conventional methods. In fact, TLM is the only technique that has been scientifically proven to totally eliminate the fear of public speaking. As Lee Sechrest, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, concluded after conducting a rigorous scientific study with 36 people who had a severe fear of public speaking, “The Lefkoe Method was effective
in virtually eliminating the fear of public speaking.”

How does TLM work and how can you use it to eliminate your fear? About twenty-one years ago I developed the first in a series of interventions that literally do produce rapid and permanent change. The most important one, the Lefkoe Belief Process (LBP), eliminates the beliefs that are the primary cause our behavioral and emotional patterns.

After helping hundreds of people with a fear of public speaking totally eradicate that fear, we discovered that there are only a few beliefs that cause the fear.

Mistakes and failure are bad.
If I make a mistake or fail I’ll be rejected.
What I have to say is not important.
People aren’t interested in what I have to say.
I’m not capable.
I’m not competent.
I’m not important.
I’m not good enough.
What makes me important or good enough is having people like me or think well of me.
Change is difficult (or takes a long time, or needs reinforcement, etc.)
Inherent in public speaking is at least some fear.

When all these beliefs are eliminated and a little bit of de-conditioning occurs, the fear is gone–permanently. Let me show you how the LBP works for one of these beliefs.

David, one of my clients, complained of significant fear whenever he had to speak in front of a group. His palms got sweaty, his heart pounded in his chest, and he had a hard time focusing on what he wanted to say. One belief he had formed that contributed to this pattern was Mistakes and failure are bad. Intellectually he knew that learning from mistakes was a good thing, but deep down he felt this statement was the truth for him and, in fact, making mistakes upset him.

When I asked David what happened early in his life that led him to that conclusion, he replied: “Dad and mom got annoyed with me whenever I didn’t do what they wanted, when they wanted. They’d say things like: ‘Can’t you ever do anything right?’ and ‘How many times do I have to tell you?’.”

After telling David that his belief was, in fact, a valid child’s interpretation of his parents’ behavior, I asked him for a few additional interpretations of what his parents did and said. In other words, what else could their behavior and statements mean other than the meaning he gave it as a child?

His answers included: My parents thought mistakes and failure were bad, but they were wrong. My parents didn’t get angry because I made a mistake or failed; they got angry because I didn’t do what they wanted, when they wanted. The way my parents reacted had little to do with what I had done; it was a function of poor parenting skills; a couple of parenting courses and they might have treated me very differently.

Comments Off

Jun 03 2010

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Nerves

Overcoming Nerves – In Public Speaking And Entertaining

Rabbi Yitzhak Miller Overcoming Nerves In Public Speaking By: Johnnie Gentle.

Many people often assume that those of us who stand up to perform or take part in any form of public speaking are not troubled by nerves and that their own attempts would only be doomed to failure because of their feelings of nervousness and fear.

These thoughts only exacerbate the feelings. When they do attempt to speak, their mouth goes dry, the hands begin to sweat, the stomach churns and a feeling of nausea takes over. Very often they begin to tremble and the brain seems to stop working.

In this confused state they just ‘freeze’ and yet another negative experience is added to their memory banks, with the certain declaration of – “Never Again”.

First of all, we need to understand why we feel this nervousness. Let’s face it, – we know we can speak; we’ve rehearsed and practiced well, the family thought the act or the tricks were great, or the speech was amusing, so there’s really nothing to be afraid of there.

We’ve checked our ‘flies’, – so nothing to worry about in that respect. If you have prepared what you want to say and rehearsed your act well, then you should be ‘home and dry’ and it should be a breeze. I can assure you, if you have done the preparation, it will be a breeze, but you will still feel nervous.

During my entertaining days I suffered badly from nervousness prior to going on stage. As a matter of fact I still do to this day. My act always went down really well and I was inundated with bookings and re-bookings, so my confidence was always high. However, the nerves were always a nightmare prior to starting my act and I could never understand why.

An old experienced entertainer once told me that all good performers, whether in show business or sports performance or even academic or business performers, – feel nerves to varying degrees, and usually the higher standard of performance, – the greater the feeling of nerves and apprehension.

He explained that it’s not the fear of not being able to perform, or of forgetting your lines, (or in the case of the sportsman, of not being able to run the race), it is actually the fear of not quite living up to your own high standards.

You see the good, conscientious performer sets his sights and standards as high as he possibly can, and so even as he improves, he keeps pushing his standards that little bit higher. You can therefore see why he will never free himself of these feelings of nerves and apprehension. It’s simply a concern that you will not live up to your own high standards.

So how do we overcome nerves? – Well, you don’t. You simply learn to understand and nurture them as your friends and your guides, which help to ensure a really high standard of performance.

You could of course lower your sights, but this would surely lead to lowering your performance and eventually no performance at all. Yet, this is what most people do. They lower the standard of their performance, taking on only the easy stuff, the things they are confident they can do.

However, lowering the standard of your performance is not the way. It may just help decrease nerves, but it will eventually kill your performance completely. You see, when speakers or entertainers get a bad reception or “die”, as we say, they very often never perform again. “Finished!”

Comments Off